From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Poster
Hi
I
opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since
then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me.
It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this
afternoon.
This
is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and
white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks
Shan.
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Poster
Dear
Shannon,
That
is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not
half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you
managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold,
frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs
squashed
by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
Although
I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course,
drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of
Missy.
Regards,
David.
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Poster
yeah
ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have
to leave at 1pm today.
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear
Shannon,
I
never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went
clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They
were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear
them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few
blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all
feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven,
spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched
me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already
occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap
out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a
speaker; resulting in a two
inch
open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul
stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat. Attached poster
as requested.
Regards,
David.
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah
thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie poster and how
come the photo of Missy is so small?
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear
Shannon,
It's
a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards,
David.
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
That’s
just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this
and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the
photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in color please. Thanks.
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear
Shannon,
Having
worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood,
despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive
criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log
onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to
overlook
this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy
attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a
drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but
that was just for fun. I have amended and attached the poster as per your
instructions. Regards, David.
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
This
is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of
Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it
to say Lost.
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah
can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the
telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie
poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I
would help you. Thanks.
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Awww
Dear
Shannon,
I
don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but
after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty
litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about
it. If I wanted to
feed
something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after
her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended
that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put
enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and
pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to
learn to let go. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your
detailed instructions.
Regards,
David.
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Awww
Thats
not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you
a photo of my cat.
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Awww
I
know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several
violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody
calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and
white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can
politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill. I
knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an
accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with
wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed
and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge
neighborhood
kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could
drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards,
David.
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Awww
Please
just use the photo I gave you.
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
I
didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put
that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward
bit.
Thanks
Shan.
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Can
you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten
minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Fine.
That will have to do.
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